Adam - Week 1, Day 5, 8:51 AM

Switched things up a bit yesterday. Sunday lunch is usually a pretty big ordeal for our family, and I tend eat my fill and beyond. So I opted to skip breakfast (which is usually pretty small and on-the-run for me on Sundays anyway) and dinner. I didn't really consider that between 1 PM yesterday at 6 PM today, I would only have one meal, which is a pretty long stretch.

That meant that I went to bed hungry last night, which was a humbling experience and helped me identify with folks for whom this is the norm. Interestingly, I didn't wake up quite so ravenous -- just my usual time-for-breakfast hunger -- but I did feel physically weak this morning. Even though I ate a lot at lunch yesterday and fairly big breakfast this morning, I'm still hungry right now. Even when I do eat, it's like I just can't get enough food to satisfy.

All this is to say, I'm FEELING it, you know?

I've also been thinking about what it would be like if I compounded this with all the other sacrifices our group is making, and what if THAT was my norm. If, in addition to being hungry, I had to sleep on a hard floor every night, I had no electricity, only could water for showers, and had to rely on the mercy of others to give me something to eat. This is reality for millions of people. The hunger alone takes a psychological toll -- I couldn't imagine what it would be like to live with ALL these things, with no hopeful end in sight. I take some comfort in knowing that I'M really still in control of my situation. I could eat if I wanted to. When it's time to eat, I know where the food is coming from and that it IS coming. I'm learning a great deal about dependence on God in my experiment, yet how self-dependent I still am.

Another thought... Do folks who are in desperate, extreme poverty even have the mental strength to pray and depend on God? How much of prayer IS in the mind, I wonder? How much does God really care if we are able to logically assemble words in our state of desperation?