Adam - Week 1, Day 3, 11:12 PM

I gave myself a little break today. I served on a interview committee from 9:00 AM to 7:00 PM which was an intense day, and I would not have been able to do my job without some midday sustenance. I did, however, keep the no-snacking fast in place -- and that's almost been harder than skipping lunch. There are so many opportunities to reach out for a little bite throughout the day, especially at night, and I had no idea how much I do that. When I got home this evening, their were some really enticing things, like brownies, which were calling my name. I must admit, since I had given myself a reprieve at lunchtime, I thought, "well, why not have a little snack now? After all, aren't I taking this fast a little too far and just becoming legalistic? Can't I have a snack AND still pray?"

But I stood firm this time. Something I've been finding that's helped in moments like that is to think, "would I sell this opportunity to yearn for God in exchange for a brownie?" Of course not. I think that every hunger pang is a reminder to pray, in that moment, and redirect our desire for food as a dependence and yearning for God. It's not that the brownie is bad or sinful, but, at least for this week, it would be like me saying that I will receive greater fulfillment in a lump of calories than in a moment of communion with my loving Father.

Again, to try to identify with the TRULY hunger-stricken of the world, I know I'm not even close. But I do imagine that in their hunger, there must be times like these when all you can do is pray that God would sustain, whether there's food around or not. I imagine there is also the ebb and flow of grumbling, similar to what I've had.

I've also found that when I DO sit down to a meal in the past few days, saying grace takes on a whole new meaning. It really feels like I'm giving thanks throughout the entire meal, not just at the beginning.