So this week is blessed are the meek. I have really found a lot of joy from the experiments this week. The first week was physically challenging and made me want to complain a lot. The second week was more spiritually challenge and trying to discipline myself to pray more thoroughly (think I failed this week). But this week has been really fun and satisfying. And it has really shown me that I don't have to do incredible things to make a small but positive difference in someone's day. I decided to do a positive facebook post each day to give a shout-out (a virtual pat on the back) to someone I admire, respect, appreciate their efforts. It has been challenging to try to think of people beyond my core group of friends that I can lift up, not that I don't want to lift up my core group of friends, but I want to try to think of people that impact my life in a positive way and they might not even know it.

So far these are the people I have recognized: Thursday-school counselors (wrote all three of ours a note of appreciation) and some talented co-workers, Friday-our school's head custodian (wrote a note of appreciation), Saturday- Krista Petty- CCC administrator , Sunday- two people in our Sunday school that have been instrumental in getting us involved to "adopt" an orphanage in Honduras, Today- Shannon Coley (happens to also be a Sunday school member) who is always so upbeat and positive.

Many of the people I have recognized are not my friend on facebook, but I don't think that is the point. For me the point is to do or say something positive without getting or even expecting something in return. However, I do know it brightened someone's day. I wrote a handwritten note to our head custodian on Friday and put it in our faculty/staff mailbox. I saw her this morning before school began and she said "Thank you. It really means a lot."

KE--Week 2

Well,

I'm afraid I've done a pretty crappy job this week of journaling. I think it's because I've had a hard time identifying with "Those Who Mourn". I wrote a couple of letters to soldiers and prayed (sparingly) for Egypt and the Sudan. While I'm disappointed in myself for not really giving the effort this week like I did last week, I have learned this week that I don't know what it means to truly mourn. I've never lost anyone or anything so important to me that I mourned, and I think that's why I've had a hard time this week.

I do think that we were also called to mourn the sins of others, and that is a hard thing as well. I'm going through a time right now where I'm really trying to not be judgmental, but it seems that I immediately fall to judgment so quickly. That's something I've been praying a lot for lately is to accept people and love them unconditionally, even when they drive me crazy. So I think mourning for their sins, when they could just not do the things that they know are wrong, is a hard concept for me to really buy into, even though I know it's what Christ calls us to do.

Andy

So it is the end of week two. I don't think I got as much out of this week as I did from the first week, but I know it is because I didn't put as much into this week. Last week was sleeping on the floor at night and if I didn't sleep on the floor it was obvious. But this week has been different. This week my challenge was to pray for the people of a country (Mexico), especially the people who are in mourning/grieving. The first day was good. I did some research and it opened my eyes to the violence that is tearing cities in Mexico apart. But after the first day, I got slack. And I know it is because there was no accountability for me. How could someone know if I prayed or not. And I did pray- a little. I prayed in my car, I prayed when I felt guilt for not praying, I prayed yesterday when I remembered that tomorrow is the new chapter in Bible study and I didn't have much to show for this week. I prayed for those who had lost families, and I prayed for those who had family members who just "disappeared". I prayed for families whose loved ones weren't at home because they are in the US trying to make money and make a better life for their families. And today I did some more research. Turns out there was more violence yesterday- 3 boys were killed at a car dealership. They were shot 17 times with a semi-automatic weapon (commonly used by the drug cartel). This story also mentioned last week's shooting (see previous post). It went on to say that in 48 hours last week-14 people were killed. This country has no shortage of grieving mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, grandparents, daughters and sons. My heart aches for them and for the ones doing the killing.

Jim and Steven

I'm still working on my format for how to tackle my experiment this week: mourning and praying for fallen Christian leaders and others affected by their actions. Decided I need to learn a little more about some of these situations and start coming up with a list for the week. May post some of my research later.

One thing I'm discovering -- and one thing that is itself worth morning over -- there is no shortage of fallen Christian leaders. The list is LONG and goes back a long way.

I'm also sad when I consider how commonplace the "Christian leader scandal" has become. We aren't surprised when it happens, or at least I'm not. It'll happen again, and I won't be surprised then either. Isn't that awful?

I've also decided that I'd make it a point to pray for at least two people every day, a fallen Christian, and a current, prominent Christian leader who hasn't had a scandal. It seems like I should pray for the redemption of those who've already made mistakes, while also lifting up those who are very influential and asking for God's protection over them and their flocks and to strengthen their commitments.

Today my focus is on Jim Bakker and Steven Furtick.

Will try to post more of my thoughts later.

Mourning

This week's experiment is on mourning. I guess I've never really had to mourn very much in my life. I've not really lost anyone that close to me. Maybe a grandfather, but he was older and had been ill for a long time, so it was expected. It's a little harder for me to get my head around mourning than the idea of poverty, because poverty is based in things that are material. I can fix poverty if I have the money and resources, but no matter what I do people will still need to mourn.

One of the projects I chose for this week is to write a letter to a soldier serving. I would say that seeing your friends die needless deaths while being so far away from everyone and everything thing you know and love would give you very legitimate cause for to mourn. I hand wrote a letter today to an Army medic who serves on the front lines. There is a website called www.anysoldier.com where you can get addresses of soldier and write to them and send them care packages. I found one that hasn't been contacted very much and wrote her a letter about Kate and I and just told her that we are proud of her and care for her and are praying for her safety and quick return home.

I haven't really gotten my head around this week's topic yet, so I probably need to pray more about it tomorrow and see where it takes me.

Andy

Week 2: Mourning

This week's experiment is based around Matthew 5:4, "blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted." There's many different kinds of mourning and no shortage of reasons to mourn in this life. One of the specific points of discussion last night was the kind of mourning that often occurred collectively among the nation of Israel back in OT days, mourning for sin.

I admit that mourning is not a reflex of mine when it comes to sin. If we're talking about my own sin, then my response to it is usually guilt, remorse, self-loathing, indifference (since I know I'll be forgiven), a desire to "work it off," a redoubling of my efforts to be a good person, or some combination of those things. But mourning? That's not a word I'd use to describe how I approach my sin.

If we're talking about other people's sin, then mourning is almost never on my radar. My response is probably more like judgment ("what a sinful person they are"), self-justification ("I'm better than they are"), or a simple shrug of the shoulders. I don't think to mourn, not for Christians or non-Christians.

To mourn implies that there is some kind of loss, that the sin that has occurred is against the natural order of how things are supposed to be, and that something unfortunate and grievous has happened to someone. It implies sympathy (or empathy? depending on the case?). It implies that there is a victim involved. Is it the sinner, or the people affected by the sinner? I know, I know... probably both.

Anyway, my assignment this week is to commit to prayer for fallen Christian leaders. I'll be interested to see where this takes me and how my views may change. I'm hopeful (strange word) that I'll discover how to mourn and grieve for the people affected by the sins of our leaders. I hope these will be for me more than just cautionary tales. I hope I'll discover redemption on many more levels and in many more situations than I previously knew.

More to come...

Today is the first day of Week 2- blessed are those who mourn. I chose the activity: A Panoramic View. In this activity, I viewed the University of Heidelberg's Global Conflict Panorama (GCP). I decided to focus my prayers for the week on Mexico. I chose Mexico because it a neighboring county to my county, but is on the list of severe conflicts. The GCP examples that the Mexican Drug Cartel is the biggest cause for the violence in the country. Thousands of people die or "disappear" in the county each year. The GCP was created in 2008. I wanted to see if the information was still current, so I went to CNN.com and searched Mexico. Turns out Mexico is still experiences the violence described on the GCP site. On CNN there is an article from yesterday that describes the death of a newspaper vendor and a police officer. The man arrested for killing the newspaper vendor said he was paid $250 to do it. $250! How could you think a life if worth so little? And how desperate do you have to be to kill for only $250. The other murder, was the shooting of a police officer. The man was shot 15 times when his patrol car stopped at a red light. According to the newspaper article over 100 police officers were killed last year in Mexico. Today I am going to pray for the people in Mexico who are desperate and for the Mexican police officers who knowing put their lives in danger every day.

KE Day 7

Well, last night was our last night on the floor and the last night for no TV, etc. I hoped I've gained a little perspective this week about what the poor actually experience. I think the main thing I'll take away from the week's experiment is that feeling of desperation that the poor must feel. I know I was so ready for the week to be over and it seemed like it never would end. I can only imagine what that would be like for someone with no end in sight.

As I got a little more cranky during the week, I could easily see how the poor can fall into the traps of drugs, alcohol, etc. How do you cope with the despair when there's no end in sight? I would like to say that I would pray and hope God would take care of me, but is my faith that strong? Despair is a powerful force in Satan's arsenal, and one that does a lot of damage. Ironically, it's the one that probably needs to exist the least. If people began to give more and waste less on themselves and the material world, how much despair could we eradicate? I think it would a mighty victory for the Kingdom.

Last night was my 7th and final night on the floor. I did not wake up this morning with any heart-stopping revelation. Instead, I think what I have gained this week is a new-found empathy for the poor around me. Before this experience, I had sympathy, but little empathy for those in my community who went to sleep at night but not in a bed. I hope to keep pushing myself into difficult experiences that will give me even more empathy for those in need, so that when I see a man with a hungry sign or hear of a woman that can't pay her power bill my personal experiences won't allow me to turn a blind eye to the immediate need.

Adam - Week 1, Day 7, 10:30 AM

Well, last day of my "hunger strike." I opted to skip breakfast and snacks today, since I have a lunch meeting with some local youth leaders.

This week has certainly had its ups and downs. It's honestly a little bittersweet to be ending. This thing that has caused me discomfort, mood swings, and a very mild suffering has also been the one thing that, strangely enough, has been a constant in my spiritual walk with the Lord this week.

I feel a little like Tom Hanks in Cast Away when he finally escapes the island. Obviously, he's ready for that experience to be over, but as he looks back from his raft one last time at the island, and Alan Silvestri's orchestra swells (the first time in the whole movie you hear a soundtrack, by the way), there's this little melancholy moment. The thing which caused so much suffering and tribulation (i.e. the island) was also the thing that had offered him so much, sustained him, and radically changed him. What seemed to be an enemy at first turned out to be a tool of his own reshaping.

Here's clip. The moment happens around 1:57...

Escape to Sea
Cast Away at MOVIECLIPS.com

I feel a little of that, though I am certainly ready to go back to "normal." At the same time, I hope I've grown as a person and that my normal won't be so normal anymore. I hope that I am changed and can approach hunger, my own and other people's, in a totally different way. I hope I'm more reliant on and thankful to God for everything, including my very basic needs.

Adam - Week 1, Day 6, 12:59 PM

Agreed, concerning Andy's last post. Prayer is certainly helping me a lot in this fast, but the fact that there is an end to it is part of what's getting me through. My mood definitely swings a lot, and if this was my norm, I could see how it would be amplified and bring despair.

There are certainly moments that I feel like my mind is very clear -- clearer than normal -- like I get a glimpse of the world as it is supposed to be an understand what God expects of me. But there are other moments (like this one) where I'm just fatigued, wishing for a release, and not really motivated to do much of anything.

I wish I didn't have this spoiled child for a stomach, making its demands of me and controlling how my day goes. My heart and mind know that "man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God." But sometimes the message doesn't make it down to my stomach.

KE Day 6

Here is what I'm quickly learning. I don't think it's the fact that sleeping on the floor is that bad. But, if I knew that this was my only option and there was no end in site, I think it would cause me to despair. I'm ready to not be on the floor any more and that's just after 6 nights. If I knew this was all I had, or even worse being homeless, I think falling into desperation and the things that go along with it (drugs, violence, etc)would be easy to do.

Andy

The Sixth Night

Other than the physical comfort of my bed, the thing I miss most while sleeping on the floor is spooning with my husband each night before we go to sleep. We tried spooning the first night we spent together on the floor, but it was not comfortable after less than 5 minutes we said good night and quickly sought out a less painful position.

The more I have thought about this, the more I have wondered if this is something homeless people face. Do they lose that opportunity to have normal human contact- to be touched. I mean think about it. If you see a homeless man on the corner. You might give him money, or you might give him food. But would you give him a hug? I wonder what he misses more? The food or the touch?